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Trying to figure out what to post; too tired. Here. Look at Jonas:
I spent most of today in a useless daze, trying to work and failing miserably. I fell asleep at my desk more than once, and I managed to drag one mindless project out all day. Well, I thought it was mindless; at one point (after half-sleeping at my desk) I realized most of what I had done was jibberish and had to be redone. Awesome productivity!
I ended up leaving work at four, so now I have to drag my butt out of bed early and go in at seven tomorrow. Also: awesome. And I left work to come home and sleep, but I ended up vaccuming my disgusting apartment instead. Now I’m watching Jersey Girl and eating hummus and broccoli.
Way too grumpy. Time to cheer up.
Ok, feeling much better now.
I should rename this blog “Things I Would Buy If I Had A Lot Of Money, But I Don’t So I Don’t. Sigh.”
Fuck you, March.
Four long weeks of you playing with my soul, toying with my feelings, emptying my checking account. Four long weeks I’ve slept walked through work, I’ve cried, I’ve consumed massive quantities of wine and vodka, I’ve spent many, many sleepless nights re-re-watching old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve tried to keep a smile on my face and go with the flow, I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut (poorly) and keep the people around me happy (also poorly). But why bother; this month just keeps sucking more and more.
But! I kept my spirit up with the knowledge that I’d get to see Bloc Party on the 30th with a good group of people and oh how excited I was. Hopefully, optimistically, blindly excited.
Idiot.
The Bloc Party show was canceled.
A word to the wise, March: after you steal someone’ s wallet, you don’t kick her in the face. It’s bad etiquette. Emily Post frowns on such things.
So. Fuck you, March.
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Many bloggers I read regularly spend time with introspection and self-analysis and use their blogs to sort their thoughts. These are things I’m really not good at, but I’m willing to give it a go.
In list form! (insert jazz hands)
1.) Yesterday I was making plans with two of my married lady friends and they both said “I have to check with the husband and see what we have planned” as they both usually do. These two have such good relationships with great communication and it’s very impressive and cool. That wasn’t something Dan and I had. We were never a team like that, we were never on the same page. I couldn’t get him to talk to me before making a decision; rather he just announced, “This is what I’m doing, this is what we’re doing.” When I see a couple that really works (like Mr. and Mrs. Bingmar), that actually talks to each other and understands each other, it seems so foreign to me. Foreign, but really nice.
I’m trying hard to become more open and trusting, a person who is capable of having a relationship based on open communication and honesty. It’s not easy; I’m a very private and internal person. I avoid conflict. But I’m working on it.
2.) I have an unending love for: the mafia, steampunk jewelry, airports, driving late at night listening to loud music, fancy matching underthings, bridges, pink roses, Crate and Barrel, amusing computer games, original handmade art, Greg Benz’s photography.
3.) I really want to go somewhere. Let’s see, it’s Friday. I could hop in my car and be in Boulder sometime tomorrow, but I’d have to drive through Iowa and Nebraska. No. Chicago? Shorter drive, but I’ve been there many times. Ann Arbor? Lovely town but too many ex-in-laws. Ooh, I do love New Orleans, and I could probably be there by Saturday night, but I’d have to turn right around to make it back in time for…
Bloc Party!!! Woo! (I’m really looking forward to Monday.)
Ok, spending the weekend at home, probably sleeping. Blast. I have several people willing to let me take pictures of them (that sounds awkward if taken out of context) but when photographing people I prefer outdoor photography and natural light and the weather is not cooperating!
4.) I seem to have lost the self-analysis theme of this entry. Told you I wasn’t good at that kind of stuff.
5.) I have got to paint my bedroom soon. The white walls, the boxes of stuff sitting on the floor, it keeps me up at night. I prefer to be surrounded by beauty and order, which are two things that rarely go well together outside of home decor. Unfortunately I can’t afford paint right now so I might have to sleep in the living room. Or…kitchen?
6.) Last night, after a great night out with my friend Dawn, I discovered I prefer working out after drinking margaritas. I also discovered I fall over much more while working out after drinking margaritas. Also discovered: it was easier to convince last night’s tipsy me to work out than than it is to convince tonight’s tired me. Especially after the two hour nap I took when I got home from work.
7.) Enough sharing. To bed!
1. Severus Snape action figure, still in box to preserve Snapey freshness.
2. Swinging frog clock. Doesn’t work, needs new batteries. Just like all of my clocks.
3. Empty box I use as a foot stool and kick when I’m annoyed. It’s very dented.
4. Fourth panel of this comic. I really want my own National Geographic Big Book of Kitty Pictures.
5. Second panel of this comic, because sometimes things are best expressed through improvisational theater.
6. Wilty plant I’ve managed to keep alive for five years.
7. Tiny figure that Marcoda and I have dubbed Andre. We occasionally hide him, ask “Where’s Andre?” and laugh.
8. Yes, those are Peeps. Yes, I love Peeps.
9. Kleenex box full of paper scraps. I am the queen of random and useless notes and lists.
10. Pilfered slinkey.
11. Mini-Dumbledore presides over my computer.
12. To Marcoda’s desk.
Tired. Thoughts going a million miles a minute. That’s the problem with this blog; so many thoughts, but this isn’t the place for them.
But it is the perfect place for m&ms.
I think tomorrow is the perfect day for a poofy dress and pink heels.
I’m babysitting for the adorable Jaden and Jonas right now. Pretty easy since they’re both asleep. Dude, I don’t know what parents are always complaining about; tonight was a breeze! (Oh my god, kidding! Kidding! Well, about the complaining bit; the kids really were awesome tonight.) Jaden was adorable and chatty, and we played many games of Surprise Party and her version of hide and seek. (“Ok, you go hide behind the couch. I’m going to count to ten and find you.”) Not only was she an absolute angel at bedtime, but she cranked up the cute, too.
Mr. Jonas had no intention of going to bed when he was supposed to, but rather decided to sit on the couch with me and grin and kick and growl and wave his arms around like a crazy, kicking tiger-bird. It was cute. It’s taking all of my will power to not wake him up and bring him out here with me. Must not do this! Fight the urge!
Now they’re both asleep and I’m going to read my zombie book. Jaden, Jonas and zombies; great night!
I had way more fun taking and playing with these photos than I could possibly write here. It’s almost enough to make me feel like I’m a bit good at this stuff. Like it’s worth focusing my attention on. Like it’s my…thing. Thank you for this, Marcoda, and for staying up with me, distracting me from myself all Sunday evening when I really needed it, when I know you would have rather been hanging out with your husband. I appreciate it more than I could say. I hope you like the pictures.
What a day. What a frickin’ fantastic, glittery, Rainbow Bright, ready to break into song day.
Sometime last night, while I wasn’t sleeping at all (damn it), I managed to do something to my jaw. Now I have a blinding headache and pain in the following locations:
Also, I’m freezing, my hair is being really weird, the office smells like olives and a particular rodenty co-worker is driving me crazy, what with all the existing and talking. So really, I look like this:
I think I would like to go home now.
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