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Oh hi. Wait, what was that? I’m a drama queen? Me? Nooo. What a silly thing to say!

So here’s the deal. This week (month, year, etc…) has been one long crappy stressfest, culminating in the last two days, and finally into last night, when a certain ex of mine tried very hard to drive me completely crazy. I finally snapped, vented, cried, and went to bed. And now tonight I’ve finally decided to let it go. All of it. I’m done with this entire dramatic existence in which I’ve wrapped myself.

I’m convincing myself that everything will work out, everything will be fine. I’m choosing to make the widespread, ill-defined goal to focus more on that which makes me happy and less on the crazy and the stress. And hell, I’m going to smile! And listen to Pink’s So What repeatedly.

I just came back from an evening out with some wonderful friends, and the entire time I was stressed and annoyed with myself for being stressed and stressed with the fact that I was annoyed with myself.  Et cetera, et cetera. What a ridiculous way to spend an evening when I could have relaxed in the knowledge that everything will be ok and just enjoy myself. So! No more of that!

Tomorrow I’m going to Marcoda‘s house to make cake balls and hell, I’m going to wear a poofy dress and heels and pearls and a big, crazy-person smile (just to warn you, Marcoda…) because sometimes being  ridiculously girly makes me happy.

Also, I really want to buy this apron from Jessie Steele (Jessie Steele! Jessie! It’s fate and I totally need this apron!)

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I was so excited for the end of  the month, the cursed, evil, never ending, kick you in the face month, partially because it meant the end of this ridiculous blogging every day for a month thing I voluntarily signed up for again. But here I am, sad that it ended (not that bastard, ass-hatted March ended, just my month of blogging ended), so here I am. Volunteering for this again. Why? Why? Why do I do this to myself? I’ll be weary of the whole thing by tomorrow, silly me.

So, another typical night of sprawling in my favorite location (living room floor), eating my favorite meal (hummus, broccoli and wine), watching one of my favorite movies (Chasing Amy), wearing one of my favorite outfits (poofy dress, how Donna Reed of me).

I have a brilliant idea involving my camera, Kinkos, a newly purchased notebook and pen, and a bit of nostalgia as a gift for my sister, but first this damn weather has to start damn cooperating so I can realize my brilliance. Dammit.

Just discovered Cowbirds in Love. Love it! Check it out!

Frost out!

Many bloggers I read regularly spend time with introspection and self-analysis and use their blogs to sort their thoughts. These are things I’m really not good at, but I’m willing to give it a go.

In list form! (insert jazz hands)

1.) Yesterday I was making plans with two of my married lady friends and they both said “I have to check with the husband and see what we have planned” as they both usually do.  These two have such good relationships with great communication and it’s very impressive and cool. That wasn’t something Dan and I had. We were never a team like that, we were never on the same page. I couldn’t get him to talk to me before making a decision; rather he just announced, “This is what I’m doing, this is what we’re doing.” When I see a couple that really works (like Mr. and Mrs. Bingmar), that actually talks to each other and understands each other, it seems so foreign to me. Foreign, but really nice.

I’m trying hard to become more open and trusting, a person who is capable of having a relationship based on open communication and honesty. It’s not easy; I’m a very private and internal person. I avoid conflict. But I’m working on it.

2.) I have an unending love for: the mafia, steampunk jewelry, airports, driving late at night listening to loud music, fancy matching underthings, bridges, pink roses, Crate and Barrel, amusing computer games, original handmade art, Greg Benz’s photography.

3.) I really want to go somewhere. Let’s see, it’s Friday. I could hop in my car and be in Boulder sometime tomorrow, but I’d have to drive through Iowa and Nebraska. No. Chicago? Shorter drive, but I’ve been there many times. Ann Arbor? Lovely town but too many ex-in-laws. Ooh, I do love New Orleans, and I could probably be there by Saturday night, but I’d have to turn right around to make it back in time for…

Bloc Party!!! Woo! (I’m really looking forward to Monday.)

Ok, spending the weekend at home, probably sleeping. Blast. I have several people willing to let me take pictures of them (that sounds awkward if taken out of context) but when photographing people I prefer outdoor photography and natural light and the weather is not cooperating!

4.) I seem to have lost the self-analysis theme of this entry. Told you I wasn’t good at that kind of stuff.

5.) I have got to paint my bedroom soon. The white walls, the boxes of stuff sitting on the floor, it keeps me up at night. I prefer to be surrounded by beauty and order, which are two things that rarely go well together outside of home decor. Unfortunately I can’t afford paint right now so I might have to sleep in the living room. Or…kitchen?

6.) Last night, after a great night out with my friend Dawn, I discovered I prefer working out after drinking margaritas. I also discovered I fall over much more while working out after drinking  margaritas. Also discovered: it was easier to convince last night’s tipsy me to work out than than it is to convince tonight’s tired me. Especially after the two hour nap I took when I got home from work.

7.) Enough sharing. To bed!

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1. Severus Snape action figure, still in box to preserve Snapey freshness.

2. Swinging frog clock. Doesn’t work, needs new batteries. Just like all of my clocks.

3. Empty box I use as a foot stool and kick when I’m annoyed. It’s very dented.

4. Fourth panel of this comic. I really want my own National Geographic Big Book of Kitty Pictures.

5. Second panel of this comic, because sometimes things are best expressed through improvisational theater.

6. Wilty plant I’ve managed to keep alive for five years.

7. Tiny figure that Marcoda and I have dubbed Andre. We occasionally hide him, ask “Where’s Andre?” and laugh.

8. Yes, those are Peeps. Yes, I love Peeps.

9. Kleenex box full of paper scraps. I am the queen of random and useless notes and lists.

10. Pilfered slinkey.

11. Mini-Dumbledore presides over my computer.

12. To Marcoda’s desk.

Things I’ve realized I love even more than I had previously thought…

Red peppers, pink plaid, Photoshop textures that look like upholstery fabric or wallpaper, dark chocolate, lists, Tim Gunn, buying used dvds on Ebay, Victorian-inspired fashion, lizards.

What a wonderful surprise!

I feel like the world gathered itself  and offered up a wonderful gift this afternoon right when I needed it most, when the office was too bright and too quiet, and I had way too much work to do and my head was splitting open and my jaw was painfully clenched. I took a moment to check out one of my favorite sites, DrawerGeeks, and found this week’s theme was…ninja! Oh, I laughed for a long time and my day was completely saved. Truly a beautiful moment.

Speaking of buying dvds on Ebay…

I went a smidge crazy this morning and got a few dvds (Shopgirl, Broken Flowers, and Night of the Living Dead) that I had been wanting for awhile, and I got them for so cheap! I love you, Ebay!

What on earth is going on?

I got so little sleep last night, and this whole week for that matter. I was so tired at work today that I kept running into corners and half forgetting where my desk was (turns out it was right where I was sitting), and yet here it is, nearly 11:00 at night, and I’m wide awake. I could, and will be, up for hours and be fine. Until tomorrow. Cursed insomnia.

I really want this poster. Just so you know, it’s only nine and a half months until my birthday. Prepare yourself.

Darwin

Earlier my head was a jambalaya of creative blog ideas (and shrimp) for today’s entry, but then I stumbled upon old pictures hidden on my hard drive and there went the evening. Tricky time-sucking technology. So! Let’s see, what happened today, in list form, only interesting to myself, and even that’s a stretch…

Currently listening to, repeatedly:

  • The Woman With The Tattooed Hands, Atmosphere
  • All Over Again, Bill Mike
  • Unsingable Name, Mike Doughty
  • Starman, Seu Jorge
  • Spaceball Richochet, T.Rex
  • Modern Girl, Sleater-Kinney
  • Shampoo Suicide, Broken Social Scene

For lunch, I amused myself with:

  • Eating tomato soup and a cilantro, hummus and red pepper sandwich from Panera (then remembering I hate cilantro)
  • Drinking coffee, which did nothing to wake me up, cursed coffee and cursed day
  • Drooling over these octopus plates from my favorite store in the entire world, Anthropologie
  • Also drooling over this gorgeous wood table
  • Oh, did I mention the drooling that occurred because of this dress?
  • Yes, I’m a girl and am capable of great bursts of girlishness. Thank you for asking.

Random thoughts from today:

  • All five of my pets are crazy. I wonder what that says about me?
  • The next person who asks me if I’m ready for tomorrow’s snowstorm and laughs is getting smacked. Hard.
  • Wow, people sure are snippy today! If I had any sense at all I’d keep my mouth shut and not egg on already agrivated snippers. (Yeah, because I have that much tact and common sense…)
  • Picture frames! Scrapbooking paper! Bathroom decorating is done!
  • As far as white wines go, this one makes me want to cut out my tongue with a rusty nail clipper. Bummer.
  • I love David Bowie.

Pictures!

Miss J is one gorgeous girl.

I can’t count how many times in the past decade and a half that Marcoda has given me this exact pursed-lip look of exasperation. Jaden really is Mini-Marcoda.

Given the chance, I’m burning all of my clothes in a massive bonfire (around which I will dance naked, seeing as my clothes will be in the fire) and buying an entirely new wordrobe from Sally Jane Vintage. Question: how many days in a row can I wear a baret to work before I recieve a stern talking to from my boss?

Books! Oh so many new books! QPB was having a buy one, get one free sale, which of course, for me, translates to buy three get three free sale, and my poor little head exploded. Bang, and such. What did I buy? Well, let’s see.

Watchmen, by Alan Moore

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, by Max Brooks

People of the Book, by Geraldine Brooks

Bad Monkeys, by Matt Ruff

Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow

Rant, by Chuck Palahniuk

Reviews forthcoming…

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Excuse me, I twitted.

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